So let’s take a look at that box…
I had heard stories about the packages Chuck Palahniuk sends in reply to his fan mail. So while I was partially prepared, nothing could have completely prepared me for the experience of opening this package.
In an NPR interview Chuck said:
“Why I do it, that’s a darn good question. Junior highschool, okay, I wrote a letter, the only letter I’ve ever written to somebody I admire, I wrote a letter to Kate Jackson, okay? This is before Charlies Angels. I remember her from Dark Shadows, that far back… and she never wrote me back…
Well, of course she never wrote me back. But if she had, that would have been such an incredible experience event. So, you know, if I can do that, I’ll do that.”
What’s even more impressive is that Chuck sets aside up to six months to read and reply to the thousands of letters he receives during the fan mail period. That’s a lot of letters.
The first thing to notice is that as the box is opened, glittery shit falls out of the box and sticks to everything. Apparently this glittering confetti is legendary.
Followed by these goodies:
A severed finger
Relight birthday candles
Magic cards
A plastic carrot (with carrot seeds inside)
A birthday rubber ducky
Russell Stover assorted chocolates
A made in China harmonica
A plastic spider
4 mini crayons
A folding pocket switch-blade comb (for all the good that’ll do me)
Intense peppermint flavored mints
Forget-me-not seeds
Giant temporary tattoos
A mini pirate coloring book
A moving lion card
Herb garden seeds
A laminated $1,000,000 bill
A name tag sticker signed “Hello, my name is Chuck Palahniukâ€
A stuffed moose “power†animal
An autographed photo of the cast from Fight Club with Chuck
Chuck Palahniuk: Tour Stories Volume 1 audio CD
Chuck Palahniuk: Tour Stories Volume 2 audio CD
And last but not least… a letter from Chuck.
What a swell guy.
Tomorrow: More mail!
–